49 Shitty Life Pro Tips You Will Never Believe You Lived Without

If you have been searching for awful and totally useless life hacks, you are in luck. Your friends at Man-Trends have compiled a list of the worst advice ever.

Some of these shitty life hacks come from a subreddit called /r/ShittyLifeProTips, and while they won’t provide much assistance, they are quite useful when you’re in need of a good audible laugh. Whether using ketchup as a bookmark, applying a raw defrosted chicken breast to remove dust from hard-to-reach areas, or saving time while ensuring better dental hygiene by adding toothpaste to your meals these “pro” life hacks are guaranteed to make you laugh hard while failing to provide any practical advice.

Darwin Award Winning Note: These tips are a joke and may be dangerous, so don’t try any at home unless you’re supervised by a certified dumbass.

Take A Selfie Through A Toilet Roll Tube And Pretend You’re The Moon

Use A Toilet Seat To Put Your Plate On While Watching TV

Sneak A Chocolate Into American Movie Theatres With This Trick

Cut Your Tennis Balls In Half To Store Two More Balls In Each Can, Saving Space

Use This Vest Protect Your Personal Space On The Subway

Spray Your Headphones With Some “Johnson’s No More Tangles” When They Are Tangled

Use The Metal Part Of Your Seat Belt To Open Beers While Driving

Magnify Your Phone’s Screen By Putting It In A Glass Of Water

Keep Cake Moist By Eating It All In One Sitting

Don’t Buy New Socks. Use A Permanent Marker Instead

Put Your New Tv Box On Your Neighbor’s Side So You Wouldn’t Get Robbed

Use Laptop Chargers To Heat Snacks Up

Put A Bean Filled Glove On Your Baby’s Back When You Want Your Kids To Feel Loved, But You’re Too Tired

If You See Someone Crying, Ask If It Is Because Of Their Haircut

Stop Tears In The Kitchen With This Life Hack

Impress Your Guests And Reduce Clutter With This Simple Tip

Save Time By Adding Toothpaste To Your Food

Use This Tip When You Want To Take A S**t Discretely

Use Duct Tape And Fork When There’s No Spoon In The Office

Use Your Phones When You Put Too Much Water In Your Rice

Use Your Hood As A Bowl For Popcorn

Use This Tip If You Are A Student

Use Your Cat To Clean Your Floors And Save On Expensive Store-Bought Cleaners

Check If You Are Colorblind With This Useful Image

Save Money With This Life Hack

Plug A Surge Protector Into Itself For Infinite Power

Use This Go Go Gadget On A Sunny Day Out For A Hands Free Experience

Just Add Water For A Quick And Easy Pasta

Use This Hack When Your Car Heater Doesn’t Work

Put A Plastic Bag Over Your Head To Make The Workday Go By Faster

Reverse Your Window A/C Unit Like So To Save On A Costly Heating. It’s Also Good For The Environment Because It Cools The Outside, Reducing Global Warming

Eat For Free For The Rest Of Your Life

Use Ketchup As A Bookmark

Use Ruler For This Life Hack

Buy As Many Tickets As You Can Afford

If You’re Up Really Late Studying For Finals, Try Swapping Your Contact Solution With Coffee For A Quick Pick-Me-Up

Did you learn a thing or two from this list of shitty pro tips?

If so, share it with your friends and family. Don’t be greedy with knowledge.